Sunday, February 22, 2009

conflict management

CONFLICT, FIGHTS and DISAGREEMENT have become a part of life It is very common to hear and see conflicts at work place, between couples, between sisters and brothers and among friends.

Conflict is an unpleasant situation that occurs due to differences arising as a result of faulty use of words and phrases. .Hence the people who are involved in less conflict communicate differently than those who get involved in frequent conflicts.

There could be numerous cause for conflicts but the character and personality trait of an individual determines the degree and intensity of conflict. Conflict between two persons who are short tempered and lack self control could become very severe and may result in the use of foul language and even violence.

Though there is always a cause or a problem responsible for the onset of conflict its usually use of insulting and abusive words and phrases which acts as a fuel to keep the fire of discontentment ablaze and its in this flame of conflict that all relationship get turned to ash.

There are various ways to confront conflicts and the best of all is to emotionally control an angry person by delivering empathy statements and listening to what they say till they calm down. It has been noticed that angry and frustrated people reflect their mood by body language before they begin and verbal attack. When such a situation arises the other should be, ASSERTIVE and AGGRESSIVE. He should explain it fully to the hostile person that he will not react emotionally or get angry and upset .or in other words its to make it clear that he cannot be brought in his control .Once the aggressive person realizes this he will calm down.

Another way to avoid conflict is to not get provoked and loose self control Nasty behavior effects all emotionally and spreads anger and hatred. But if other people adopt a few simple technique the conflict could be brought to an end. Firstly, the other person should slow down his responses. He should not give an immediate reply in words .He should first think and then respond. Secondly, the other person have full control on his speech, he should neither speak too loudly nor too quickly. Thirdly, the other person should take a time out which means that he should avoid conversation when the iron is hot, to avoid heated discussions, and passing of negatives remarks so that the agitated person does not get a forum to continue the attacks

Thus to avoid conflicts its essential for all to acquaint themselves with such words and phrases which could avoid conflicts

Sunday, February 15, 2009

interpersonal communication

In my previous communication lecture we were taught about a kind of communication in which each one of us engaged unknowingly but despite of how common it is. Its importance has been under emphasized. The discussion was about the most frequently encountered of all communication, contexts that is, interpersonal communication

Interpersonal communication also known as dyadic communication is two face, face to face interaction. Most often all communication occurs between two people hence it is interpersonal. However, what is unique about dyadic communication is that it is direct, personal, immediate, spontaneous and informal. Hence when we ask questions to our professor, share something with our parents, crack jokes or express our love to our partner. We are engaging in interpersonal communication thus it can be said, it is the most frequently, unavoidable and most important form of communication human undertake. Our survival as social beings depends in large part on our interpersonal communication skill.

Since interpersonal communication plays such a significant role in everyone’s daily life it is important communication. Managing communication is never easy. In every context we must balance conflicting demands that pull us in different directions. We need to balance the goal of expressiveness and protectiveness, autonomy and togetherness, novelty and predictability.

Normally in the process of shaping a relationship both the partners develop certain specific patterns of interaction. Unfortunately they develop dysfunctional patters such as rigid role relations. i.e. Dominance related, disconfirmations i.e. rejecting response, responses that leave us with a diminished sense of self respect, paradoxical messages i.e. . . . contradictory messages and spirals in which one partner`s behaviour intensifies that of the other.

Such patterns limit the freedom of communication and send ambiguous and destructive messages. Ignoring the others personality character and focusing on patterns is one way of avoiding such potential problems.

Relationship plays a major role in everybody’s life. The attachment and closeness a couple is greatly influenced by communication. A person maybe very attached to their relationship or simply not care about it. The role of communication helps nurture an environment of openness and frankness in a relationship. Some people remain an introvert where as some tend to open up very early these factors are responsible for unhealthy relationships.

A relationship has two main parts followed by 5 sub stages of each. The first part stage of coming together. This stage comprises of 5 stages mentioned in a particular order.
Initiating (the start of a relationship), experimenting (trying out each other’s compatibility), bonding (becoming a part of one other).all these stages will run smoothly if there is a good understanding and communication between couples.

The second part is the part of breaking apart. The five stages in this part are, differentiating (finding differences in one another), circumscribing (to limit), stagnating (staying with one another forcefully) avoiding (finding reasons to get away from each other), terminating (ending the relationship). After termination a couple may feel relieve or depressed depending on the attraction that he or she had towards the other person. Attraction is built and maintained through communication.

These days many people are finding their partners by communicating through technology. However, people should know that just the initiating stage can be reached by communicating online. But a person wishes to reach the bonding stage he or she will have to have face to face interpersonal communication. These are all ingredients for not just a couple’s relationship but any relationship for that matter.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The curious case of Benjamin Button

Sometimes life knocks you up with things you can not imagine, somethings that could set you thinking. similarly, this is what i encountered when i had my first glance at the award winning movie" the curious case of benjamin button".
Fiction plays a crucial role in everyone's life, but F.Scott Fitzgerald carried it to another level. After been written in the form of a novel, this sentimental story has ended up on screen. This everlasting movie deals and resembles about a man during World war-I, who was born young but with the appearence and characteristics of an old man. On the day that the Hurricane Katrina hits New Orleans, elderly Daisy Williams is on her deathbed. This is when she asks her daughter, Caroline to read to her aloud the diary of Daisy's lifelong friend Benjamin Button. This diary recounts his entire extraordinary life, the main unusual aspect of which was his agening backwards. He was born as an old man in his eighties, diagnosed of several serious agening diseases, thus showing his little chances of surviving. But he survives and becomes younger as time passes. After being abandoned by his biological father Thomas Button and death of his mother during childbirth he was fortunately adopted and raised by Queenie, an afro-american lady who served as a caregiver at senior home. The movie exquisitely shows how Daisy and Benjamin seperated as time passed but still remained in touch and their reconnection during their fourties when their ages finally matched; and as Daisy grew older, Benjamin got younger.
Everone who reads this blog has been born under normal circumstances as an ordinary individual; however this is a story of an exceptional man who is born under unusual circumstances and lives a life completely opposite to ours. When he was seven he looked sixty and when he was sixty he looked seven.
By showing the personal identity of the main character i.e. Benjamin Button around whom the whole story revolves this movie has covered one of the essential levels of context i.e. life script.
The entire message of this movie has been given in the form of verbal and visual communication. As we all know that " language must always match context" and better the communicators understand the contextual cues more successful they are in conveying the exact message. I strongly feel by the script of this movie and the semantics i.e. the meaning of the words used in this movie the public has been able to interpret its correct message.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

THE STORY OF OCTUPLETS





On January 31, 2009, casually looking through a few news websites I accidentally came across a very short odd but interesting and touchy news report, “octuplets’ mother already had six children”. The very term “octuplets” attracted me to read through the whole article. It basically talked about a Los Angeles based woman, mother of six, whose identity is not disclosed gave birth to eight babies. According to the report, the women’s marital status is unknown and the octuplets were not born through a natural process and the woman had undergone a fertility treatment. The times noted that under the general guidelines of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, “ US doctor normally would not implant more than two embryos at a time in a woman under the age of thirty five”, and the public records show that this women is thirty three, thus implying that the doctor mistakenly implanted eight. However, she refused to abort the embryos because she did not want to kill the tiny beautiful babies. People have their own individual perception i.e. psychological perception about things. Some might define it has her obsession for kids but some may even be cognizant about her inner feelings.
I know that we have moved way forward from the old pre historic times to today’s twenty first century; but, I still feel that from the time this world has evolved women’s most prominent and powerful role out of all other has been that of a “child bearer”. Thus, women and only women can be the “nest defender”.